Shroudedheart of RiverClan

(Just so you know, he looks a lot like Scourge except Scourge has a purple collar and has dog teeth not prey's teeth and claws. And Shroud's not evil. This is my first tom character, and the first time I made a quiet, fierce cat. Let me know how I did! :3)

Character name: Shroudedheart


Nickname: Shroud


Character age: Fourteen Moons


Gender: Tom


Clan/Tribe: RiverClan


Rank: Warrior


Personality & Appearance: (Long Description) Shroudedheart looks at you with his blue eyes, wondering why you are staring at him. He is a quiet, brave, fierce, determined tom. He is completely black except for his paw and the tip of his tail, which are white. He is a small tom, and is teased because of it. He has a ruffled appearance, his fur always unkempt, and on his chest and neck tufts of fur stick out.  He has a tattered (But not too bad, it won't fall apart any time soon.) red collar with prey's claws and teeth stuck onto it, and many cats wonder why he does this. Trophy maybe? Or simply to remind himself that he is not small.. that he is not weak. He has a short temper, and is not afraid to get things done. Shroud is a slender, sleek tom with messy short fur. Small in stature, though not in fighting prowess. He has bright blue eyes that seem to pierce through you, showing nothing except an eerie calm. When he is in battle, the rage of everything that has happened to him blaze through his eyes, showing a mixture of fierce rage and sadness you've never seen before, he is prepared to fight until his last breath.  (Sorry I didn't do a very long one! That's my weak point. D:)



Mental Disabilities: N/A though he is emotionally scarred from what happened to him as a kit, no matter how much time passes.


Likes/Dislikes: He likes cats who don't judge him for his size, and that aren't loud and annoying. He dislikes being teased or made fun of. He likes pranks, though he won't admit his free-spirited side.


Current mate: None, never had one.


Current crush: You will know by the way he acts towards you.


Offspring: None.


Family/History: His family were originally kittypets, though they stayed outdoors. They curled up on a spot they liked to sleep in, and Darkness (His kittypet and loner name) curled up nearby, in a hidden spot in some wild catnip. He enjoyed the strong smell of it, and he liked being hidden for some reason. He heard a yowl and immediately peeked out of the bush. He saw a loner attacking his mother, father, and sister. He bit his lip to withdraw a yelp of protest. "Serenity!" He whispered, his voice hoarse. His sister let out her last yelp as she turned her head toward the catnip plant and seemed to whisper something. "SERENITY!" He yowled, tears rimming his piercing blue eyes. He then realized the loners ears perk up. His entire family had just died to this single horrible cat... he was just a kit.. he couldn't fight! He burst into tears, and ran as fast as he could. Thankfully, he was a agile, fast cat. The loner burst into a chase and almost caught up to him, and nicked him with his long claws, making his ear bleed. He let out a yowl of pain, but kept running. Tears kept falling, but he knew he had to be strong for his sister. He took a confusing turn, making the loner run into a wall in the heat of the chase. Stunned, he couldn't follow for a moment. Just the time he needed. He ran into the border of the forest everyone he knew warned him of. He didn't care. Whatever was in there would be better than the gory scene in his previous home. "Mother... father... sis..." he kept crying quietly, his voice barely a hoarse whisper. He ran until he couldn't run anymore. he looked at a river, and the world seemed to spin around him. He crawled, trying to keep running, fearful of the loner and of what just happened to his family. "No....!" He whispered, dried, and fresh, tears rimming his eyes. "No..." He whispered again, and collapsed. His whole world was killed.. everything went black. He woke up in a strange den. He yowled in fear and backed away, hissing at everything, blurry, around him. "...Get away from me!" He hissed, remembering what happened to his family and beginning to cry again. "Shush now!" Came a voice from another cat. "What happened to you?" The cat asked. He stayed silent, his ears still flattened and his teeth bared. "Stop snarling. A kittypet doesn't snarl." An angry, teasing voice replied to the cat and him. "Who are you?!" Darkness yowled. "We're RiverClan cats. You're in the nursery. Don't listen to them. What happened to you?" Again, he ignored the question. "R-RiverClan?"

Pictures:

This is a great form.
I did catch a few capitalization errors but that's not a big deal. Especially compared to how some people make their forms.
I would suggest possibly considering him moving to Bloodclan. On this site Bloodclan isn't terribly evil. They do have their bad moments but we recently had a bigger more evil group rise up and fall and are planning on having an even worse one rise and reign for a while.
But it's perfectly fine to keep him in Riverclan and would make for an interesting plot.
;)

nice form Watersong would like him.

Thanks! =)

I might make him join BloodClan later on not sure

If you did what would you change his name to?

Red wrote:If you did what would you change his name to?

To his old name, Darkness.

ok