Mini's School for New Roleplayers!

Haha! Well duh, of course you do! P and EPIC!

I don't listen to 1D's music since they aren't my type of style but I like 'em as people :D

I like it, it's nice :3 But one thing I must say is yes, your words are a bit plain and while they aren't choppy, they don't flow very well. One of the major points of rping is making your posts flow nicely.

Shoo shoo Smokey ;3

Here is your post after I corrected it the way I would

;
A group of dark shapes was quietly moving, the full moon shining above them; not a cloud marking the dark sky. The group reached a small stream and the leader flicked his tail up to signal the others to stop. One by one the forms bounded easily over the water, not a single paw dampened by the liquid.

They moved through thick undergrowth and tall trees awkwardly. It was obvious they weren't very comfortable here, but at last they arrived at their destination; a small thorn tunnel.

The group crept through quietly and into the shining light of the moon. the leader tossed his head back and yowled his comman. "Shadowclan, to battle!". The once quiet hollow quickly filled with battling cats. The fighting stretched on, seeming to go on forever until one cat dropped. "Vinestar, no!" A distressed she-cat screeched and bolted to the limp body; the moonlight making her silvery pelt glisten while her blue eyes filled with sorrow. "Why, Vinestar....." She murmured, pressing her nose softly against the brown tom's fur.

---

See? Just by adding little adjectives here and there and splitting it into three parts; I give it the illusion of being longer :3 What you need to do is add less periods and find ways to join sentences together with anything. A period indicates a pause, so every period you read you pause and it ruins the effect of the story ^_^ Also, take your sentences and just think of different ways to say them, or word them. For example. Take this; The cat ran through the woods. It had obvious words and its plain and boring :< Now I'll spuce it up and bit; The cat raced through the thick forest. See? It makes it a little longer and more descriptive. Now I'll add even more; The young tom raced through the thick, lush oak forest; a soft pant in his breath. See? Even longer! I'm just thinking of ways to add words and/or change words into more exotic ones that mean the same.

Okie, I shall leave :3... For now >;3

Smoke, you little pest :P I love you, but you can't spam up every thread on the site xD Shoo shoo

Ok, thanks Mini! Do i have any homework? (just makin sure)

Who do you think I am? Course you got homework xD

Take these sentences;

The cat took a drink from the river.

The cat groomed his fur.

The cat ran along the cliff.

The cat smiled.

The cat sat in his nest.

-
And make them as long as you possibly can!

Good luck! 8D

NOT SPAM~
Mini~, do you think I need any help with something? After all, the is my (technically) first RPG site, and I've never done something like this before New Era.

Ok!

The small, dirty white shecat took a long, drink from the rushing but clear river.

The brown cat was grooming his long tangled fur, trying to make himself presentable.

The lean cat chased the small grey rabbit along the dangerously slippery cliff.

The fierce looking tom smiled a welcoming, kind hearted smile.

The silvery cat slowly sat down in her comfortable moss lined nest.

xD What I mean about spam is you filling magic pages with chat. It's ok!

Smokey;
Nope :3 I was and am extremely pleased with your natural talent for rping. Thumbs up! Your like me 8D. May sound arrogant, but I'm at the level of rping that most of my seniors are at; ones who have been there much longer than me. It's because I'm awesome ;3


Briar;

Good job!! They flow, they are nice and descriptive; I like :D

Now! I want you to make each of those sentences into a paragraph! Add whatever you want, but make it nice and clean :3

Thanks! And OK. I need to switch to computer first though. My phone nearly deaf. (for fifth time!)

xD Gotcha, I awake dem beautiful posts!

The small, dirty white shecat took a long, drink from the rushing but clear river. In the corner of her eye she saw a small vole. She stopped drinking and quietly lowered herself into a hunting crouch, she prowled forward until she was in leaping distance. Then she pounced, killing the vole, she then took the limp vole and carried it back to the grumpy and unthankful elders.

The brown cat was grooming his long tangled fur, trying to make himself presentable. He wanted to impress a shecat called Silverfang, he thought that she was the sweetest and prettiest thing. She also reminded him of his sister in Starclan, Sweetvoice.

The lean cat chased the small grey rabbit along the dangerously slippery cliff. He nearly lost his footing and fall over the edge of the cliff. He shook it off and kept running swiftly, his clan needed the prey. They rarely saw rabbits in leaf-bare and it was especially bad this year, 4 young kits and 2 wise and already joined Starclan.

The fierce looking tom smiled a welcoming, kind hearted smile. He showed the young apprentice the territory, it was difficult for the apprentice to welcome him as a kind cat because of his scar and shredded right ear. Once the cat started showing him around the incredibly large territory however, he realized he would like being the warriors apprentice.

The silvery cat slowly sat down in her comfortable moss lined nest. She was very tired, she had been chasing those squirrels up tall trees and on the bumpy ground, he paws ached and felt like they would never get to rest.

Hey Miniiiiiiiiiiiiii... You want me to help you with your apps? :3

Helloooooooooooo?

What?  :I Don't touch meh apps, I want to start improving

No, I meant teach you how I do my apps so you can get better. Oh, and this Saturday I'm getting the new expansion pack (Island Paradise for Sims 3) so download all the other ones first :3

I've been downloading sims all day :D I'm almost done, just waiting for the update

Iloveyouandyourmajesticsims

xD I have a page on the site:
http://mypage.thesims3.com/mypage/gothichorcrux
Do you know how to download CC?

Name: Zephyr

Best points in rping: I'm not really sure, actually.
It's much easier to point out my flaws than to point out my strong points. I hope it's okay if I leave this section blank? If not, I'll surely find something. x3

Worst points in rping: Making things interesting!

What you want to work on the most: How to spark someone's interest, as well as improve the length of my posts and be more descriptive.

Other: I've been roleplaying for about six/seven years, and have certainly seen improvements since then! I just would like to see more. >:3

Alright, can you make me a rping sample? :D

Mini~ wrote:Alright, can you make me a rping sample?  :D

Sure thing! I don't have any characters here, since I just joined a little bit ago, but I'll use a cat I have on another site. ^^
---

    It was just past sunfall. Crickets could be heard chirping from the large clumps of grass in Lightclan's territory, and from beside the pond in his clan's territory, settled in the soft, squishy mud, were bullfrogs, making their deep calls back and fourth to each other. Such was the nightly walk for the ashen-gray appretice. At first, he'd never noticed these noises when he went on walks at night, but as he went more and more often, he began to appreciate the tranquil sounds of night just as much as he enjoyed the solitude of his walks, where it was no one but himself and the round, silver moon above.
    The snap of a twig sounded from directly behind Duskpaw. He immediately spun around, while green eyes squinted in the direction of the sound, trying to distinguish a silhouette in the darkness. "Who's there?" he called out, careful to keep his voice soft in case there were predators nearby.

Yours;
    It was just past sunfall. Crickets could be heard chirping from the large clumps of grass in Lightclan's territory, and from beside the pond in his clan's territory, settled in the soft, squishy mud, were bullfrogs, making their deep calls back and fourth to each other. Such was the nightly walk for the ashen-gray appretice. At first, he'd never noticed these noises when he went on walks at night, but as he went more and more often, he began to appreciate the tranquil sounds of night just as much as he enjoyed the solitude of his walks, where it was no one but himself and the round, silver moon above.
    The snap of a twig sounded from directly behind Duskpaw. He immediately spun around, while green eyes squinted in the direction of the sound, trying to distinguish a silhouette in the darkness. "Who's there?" he called out, careful to keep his voice soft in case there were predators nearby.

Mine, after I rewrote it how I would :3;

It was just past sunfall.  Crickets could be heard chirping from the large clumps of grass in Lightclan's territory, and from beside the pond in his clan's territory.  Settled in the soft, squishy mud; bullfrogs, making their deep calls back and fourth.  It was the nightly walk for the ashen-gray apprentice.  At first, he'd never noticed these noises, but as he went more and more often, he began to appreciate the tranquil sounds of night just as much as he enjoyed the solitude of his walks.  Where there was no one but himself and the round, silver moon above.

The snap of a twig sounded from directly behind Duskpaw.  He immediately spun around, green eyes squinted in the direction of the sound; trying to distinguish a silhouette in the darkness.  "Who's there?" he called out, careful to keep his voice soft in case there were predators nearby.

----

Your posts, in my eyes, are plenty interesting.  They have good detail, plenty of adjectives.  But some grammatical errors could ruin a perfectly good post.  First, wayy too many commas.  Add more periods.  For example;Crickets could be heard chirping from the large clumps of grass in Lightclan's territory, and from beside the pond in his clan's territory, settled in the soft, squishy mud, were bullfrogs, making their deep calls back and fourth to each other.  the crickets and the bullfrogs are two different subjects, as well as the subject being much too long.  So split that in half and you'll have two, nicely flowing, neat sentences.  And, on thing.  When you cut off from a subject and start another, make sure you add two spaces instead of just one :3

I just thought I'd try this :D

Form;

Name:kittensrule9
Best points in rping: I honestly don't know.
Worst points in rping:Colon and semi-colons, sometimes spelling, and using different ways to put words instead of something basic
What you want to work on the most:Doesn't matter
Other::3

Okay! I'll be sure to practice that.

Do I have any homework? I've noticed that you usually give out homework, so.. x3