Smoke's Outlet (My Problems, Basically A Way To Vent)

by ***Smoke*** 16/10/13, 07:36 pm

Right. Well. Hello.

This, is my new form of venting. Journals don't work for me anymore. You guys have a comment, then please, feel free to keep them to yourself. Just kidding, you can comment. Oh, and may be a bit vulgar- my mom isn't the nicest.

Today, it started out pretty good. The bus didn't drive past me, I got to see rain, made new friends at school, and figured out that I'm smarter than my peers- by far XD But then I came home, went to a horse back riding lesson and then we went out to dinner with my brother, Will. He talked about dreams and everything, and my mom got pissed. Big time.

"If you reach your dream of working for NASA then I can divorce your dad and go after my own dreams," Were her exact words. I accidentally said 'If you do that I'm going with dad'. She was just like, "Whatever I don't f***ing care anymore."

The whole way home, after a yummy burger and fries, I was wishing I had my headphones. My mom and brother argued about her divorcing my dad and Will saying 'that's stupid', because he's stupid and doesn't know when to shut his mouth. Then she ranted about how a company was just using my brother for free hard work, and only hired him for his last name (my grandfather's a well known guy).

Next came the subject of my bratty cousin, Keilyn. She's bossy, rude, and acts just like her mother- Aunt TT. The TT stands for Trailer Trash. I didn't come up with it, my mom did. So she dissed Keilyn, and I added a few things too, because I honestly hate my cousin, I forget all about blood when mine boils.

Everyone hates my cousin, except for my usually narcissi grandmother where she gets some of her attitude from. And she's only 8. She has managed to piss off quite a few people in the past few years.

Next came the sore spot- how much she hated where we live now. I love it, and this is my home. It hurt to hear her say things like 'This is a f***ing dump- I wish we never came here'. She also commented on how my dad never looked for jobs in Kansas, or St. Joseph, Missouri, where she really wanted to go because her friends were there. All I wanted to say that entire time was 'THEY AREN'T THE SAME MOM. GET OVER IT BECAUSE WERE NOT GOING THERE. YOU MIGHT, BUT I HATE ST. JOE!'

Yes, I'm not very nice in my mind, but it's the truth. When we came home, she yelled at my dad about getting divorced, and he said 'Fine, because honestly I'm done now. I don't know how to please you or make you happy anymore apparently.' They've been together for almost 25 years, and my mom says she's only staying with him because she has kids.

And now, here I am, typing this, thinking I'll regret it because all of you will probably read this and how stupid I am for living. Yes, I've contemplated suicide, but turned it down every time, though I have reason to do it. I have a gift in writing, which won't take me anywhere. Few people can get published, much less even get noticed. My future is full of expensive, scholarship law school and me going to regular visits to the local physiatrist.

Please don't say you feel bad for me or anything- it'll just make me angry. I don't need pity, but just a way to say my problems.

by **Kit** 16/10/13, 09:16 pm

Smokey just to let you know I'm praying for you!

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 05:55 am

Its alright Smoke, everyone's parents have problems, mine included. And please, don't you dare even consider suicide. You are talented, kind and a lot of fun with your whole life ahead of you, so go make it a rich one. Never, ever give up hope. Find a passion and focus completely on that and take each day as it comes. Xxx

Smoke's Outlet (My Problems, Basically A Way To Vent) Inspiring-love-quotes-Favim.com-418643

Smoke's Outlet (My Problems, Basically A Way To Vent) Inspiring-love-quotes-Favim.com-418643

by ***Smoke*** 17/10/13, 03:58 pm

Thank you two so much- I know not to ever commit suicide, though I think about it. I'm too awesome ;D

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 04:11 pm

Damn right you're too awesome. What the heck would any of us do without you. I would dare say you're the backbone of this online community <3

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 04:17 pm

Yep, I have never gone through anything near what your going through now, but I will help as much as possible. I am having bad friendship problems,, the other day my friend said " You'd make a great soccer player, cause you can chase a ball really good!"
I am like, " Gee,Thanks. What an awesome friend you are." My mom said to just loosen up with her but its hard.

by ***Smoke*** 17/10/13, 04:23 pm

Aww thank you Roo X3 <3
That's gotta suck Kit. I've had one of those friends before- they just agitated me like there was no tomorrow.

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 04:28 pm

Yeah but the worse thing is she doesn't realize what she says and does. OMG Perfect song moment!

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 04:30 pm

OMG, me too, it's ridiculous! She's fine one minute, then impossible the next. I think the best thing to do is just laugh stuff they say off and confide in a friend you can really trust. And that's a superb song Kit X3

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 04:33 pm

Well there was a new girl I decided to hang out with, and my friend who is also my neighbor. The other day though I found all 3 going to lunch and they totally ditched me, when I caught up the completely ignored me. IKR?

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 04:36 pm

I think everyone will grow out of this persona at some point. I hope so at least XD

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 04:39 pm

Yea... We should make a thread where everyone uses it like their diary.

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 04:41 pm

That's a really good idea, Kit!

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 04:44 pm

Should it be a thread or like a mini board?

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 04:55 pm

I'd say a mini board would be a better idea.

by megarin 17/10/13, 04:59 pm

SMOKE
NOOOO
U R BEAUTIFUL
SMOKE DUN DIE
DUN LEAVE
DUN GIVE UP
YOU HAVE A FUTURE AND I LOVE YOU IN A NON WEIRD WAY
SMOKE
I UNDERSTAND YOUR PROBLEMS AND DUN GIVE UP
LIFE IS WORTH IT BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK NOT
AND
AND
AND
IM SURE YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU AND LOVES EACH OTHER. MAYBE THEY ARE JUST SIDETRACKED. MAYBE THEY JUST FORGOT FOR A LITTLE WHILE. MAYBE THEY ARE JUST REALLY REALLY STRESSED AND THEY DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING BECAUSE THEY JUST FEEL LIKE THEY THEMSELVES ARE BEING UNLOVED AND HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AND SO MUCH PRESSURE
SMOKE DUN IGNORE YOURSELF
DUN OVERLOOK YOURSELF
LOVE UR FAMILY
LOVE YOURSELF

by **Roo12** 17/10/13, 05:03 pm

BECAUSE WE ALL LOVE YOU! RIGHT MEG?!

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 05:33 pm

RIGHT!!!!!!

by ***Smoke*** 17/10/13, 07:34 pm

I have no idea how to make boards, but I can try :3

by megarin 17/10/13, 09:35 pm

SMOKE YOU DIDN'T EVEN REPLY TO ME.
I THOUGHT I WAS BEING INSPIRATIONAL.
D:
And my diary page would be the boring-est ever.
You all have like, problems in life, and stuff that happens.
My life is a broken record set on my weekly schedule with nothing exciting and no problems.
It makes me feel bad 'cause y'all are always venting and stuff.
The worst thing I have to vent about is my uncomfortable dance outfit and getting only a 'B' in accelerated math class.
.-.

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 09:39 pm

XD I have a B in Science the rest are all As but I only gota good grade in mathe cause its Pre Algebra B no A .. I do have the highest grade in that class

by megarin 17/10/13, 09:42 pm

Well I almost wish I wasn't in accelerated math.
Pre-algebra sounds soooo much easier right now.

by **Kit** 17/10/13, 09:44 pm

Yea we just relearned Integers.

by ***Smoke*** 17/10/13, 10:13 pm

Well sorry if I don't reply. I would've said-
"You're weird"
Because you are. But I do love you guys :3 Everything's good now, so I'm fine. It's just on bad nights when I have bad thoughts, so it's not like it's 24/7.
I have a 98 in pre-algebra .-.

by **Roo12** 18/10/13, 01:36 am

I suck at maths, it's unreal. It's not one of my stronger subjects.

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